Taking Responsibility For Your Life To Excel
Brain tracy:
“A man, as a
general rule, owes very little to what he is born with – a man is what he makes
of himself.” Alexander Graham Bell
When I was
21, I was broke and living in a small one-room apartment, in the middle of a
very cold winter, working on a construction job during the day. I usually
couldn’t afford to go out of my apartment in the evenings, where at least it
was warm, so I had a lot of time to think.
One night as
I sat there at my small kitchen table, I had a great flash of awareness. It
changed my life. I suddenly realized that everything that happened to me for
the rest of my life was going to be up to me. No one else was ever going to
help me. No one was coming to the rescue.
Read More: The Power Of Goal Setting
I was
thousands of miles from home with no intentions of going back for a long time.
I saw clearly at that moment that if anything in my life were going to change,
it would have to begin with me. If I didn’t change, nothing else would change.
I was responsible.
The Great Discovery
I still
remember that moment. It was like a first parachute jump. It was both scary and
exhilarating. There I was, standing on the edge of life. And I decided to jump.
From that moment onward, I accepted that I was in charge of my life. I knew
that if I wanted things to be different, I would have to be different.
Everything was up to me.
I later
learned that when you accept complete responsibility for your life, you take
the giant step from childhood to adulthood. Sadly enough, most people never do this.
I have met countless men and women in their 40s and 50s who are still grumbling
and complaining about earlier unhappy experiences, and still blaming their
problems on other people and circumstances. Many people are still angry about
something that one of their parents did or did not do to or for them twenty, or
thirty, or even forty years ago. They are trapped in the past and they can’t
get free.
Rise Above
the Opinions of Others
The third
cause of negative emotions is an over concern or hypersensitivity to the way
other people treat you. For some people, their entire self-image is determined
by the way other people speak to them, talk to them or about them, or even look
at them. They have little sense of personal value or self-worth apart from the
opinions of others, and if those opinions are negative for any reason, real or
imagined, the “victim” immediately experiences anger, embarrassment, shame,
feelings of inferiority and even depression, self-pity and despair. This
explains why psychologists say that almost everything we do is to earn the
respect of others, or at least to avoid losing their respect.
Read More: Wisdom Quotes For Exploits
Responsibility
Is The Antidote
The antidote
for negative emotions of all kinds is for you to accept complete responsibility
for your situation. You cannot say the words, “I am responsible!” and still
feel angry. The very act of accepting responsibility short-circuits and cancels
out any negative emotions you may be experiencing. The discovery of this simple but powerful
affirmation, “I am responsible” and its instant ability to eliminate negative
emotions was a turning point in my life, as it has been for many hundreds of
thousands of my students.
Just
imagine! You can free yourself from negative emotions and begin taking control
of your life by simply saying, “I am responsible!” whenever you start to feel
angry or upset for any reason.
It is only
when you free yourself from negative emotions, by taking complete
responsibility that you can begin to set and achieve goals in every area of
your life. It is only when you are free, mentally and emotionally, that you can
begin to channel your energies and enthusiasms in a forward direction. This is
why, without the acceptance of complete personal responsibility, no progress is
possible. On the other hand, once you accept total responsibility for your
life, there are no limits on what you can be, do and have.
Stop Blaming
Others
From now on,
refuse to blame anyone for anything - past, present or future. As Eleanor
Roosevelt said, No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Buddy Hacket, the comedian, once said, I
never hold grudges; while you’re holding grudges, they’re out dancing!
From this
point forward, refuse to make excuses or to justify your behaviours. If you
make a mistake, say, “I’m sorry,” and get busy rectifying the situation. Every
time you blame someone else or make excuses, you give your power away. You feel
weakened and diminished. You feel negative and angry inside. Refuse to do it.
Control Your
Emotions
To keep your
mind positive, refuse to criticize, complain about or condemn other people for
anything. Every time you criticize someone else, complain about something you
don’t like, or condemn someone else for something that they have done or not
done, you trigger feelings of negativity and anger within yourself. And you are
the one who suffers. Your negativity doesn’t affect the other person at all.
Being angry with someone is allowing him or her to control your emotions, and
often the entire quality of your life, at long distance. This is just plain
silly.
Remember, as
Gary Zukacs says in his book, Seat of the Soul, Positive emotions empower;
negative emotions disempower. Positive emotions of happiness, excitement, love
and enthusiasm make you feel more powerful and confident. Negative emotions of
anger, hurt or blame weaken you and make you hostile, irritable and unpleasant
to be around.
Once you
decide to accept complete responsibility for yourself, your situation, and for
everything that happens to you, you can turn confidently toward your work and
the affairs of your life. You become “the master of your fate and the captain
of your soul.”
SOURCE: GOALS by Brain Tracy
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